Rachel

Day 37

*deep inhale*

So alright everybody we’re gonna get this Bible business back on track so here goes!

Jacob wrestled with God and won and it was like a metaphor for prayer I guess and then he goes and makes amends with his brother Esau who he thought still hated him but Esau was just happy to see him after twenty years and Jacob is such a nice and rich guy that he gives Esau a massive tribute to show that there are no hard feelings.

Then one of Jacob’s daughters goes out to make some lady friends in this new territory and she gets sexually assaulted by some prince dude named Shechem who is a prince and then his father Hamor says that Shechem wants to marry Jacob’s daughter Dinah and then Jacob’s sons tell Hamor that all the men living there have to be circumcised and then long story short Simeon and Levi who are two of Jacob’s sons just go right ahead and slay all the men in the city and Jacob berates them for making enemies and they’re all like “What were we supposed to do just let them treat our sister like a prostitute?”

Then God makes a bunch of promises and reiterates stuff that He said to Abraham to Jacob who is now called Israel which apparently means “prince of God” or some such thing with the “El” part meaning “God” and some stuff happens and Jacob casts out all the old idols and such and Deborah dies and then Rachel has another baby and she dies in childbirth and Israel buries her and then one of his sons Reuben sleeps with his father’s concubine and they list off Jacob/Israel’s twelve sons and then also Isaac lives to 180 years old and DIES.

Then we get this whole big chapter about Esau’s genealogy and I don’t really care to list them all off because anyone who really wants to read all that can just go check out Genesis 36 or maybe a genealogy chart of the Old Testament figures but the gist of it is that he dips out of town because it ain’t big enough for the two of them with the two of them being him and his brother and all their stuff and livestock and such.

THEN we get Genesis 37 which features Joseph son of Rachel wife of Jacob who is totally his father’s favorite and has a fancy tunic or coat of many colors and all his brothers hate him because he has all these dreams that they will be bowing down to him and that his father and mother even will bow down to him apparently because he dreams about the sun and moon and eleven stars bowing down to him and so his brothers plot to kill him by trapping him in a pit but one brother Reuben wants to save him later without them knowing but after doing the pit thing one of them Judah suggests that they just sell him so at least they can make a profit from the whole deal and so they sell him to some Midianite traders and sell him and he gets carted off as a slave to Egypt and they take his fancy clothes and cover them in goat blood and show their father and he mourns because he believes that Joseph is DEAD.

That’s it! We’re up to date. Genesis 33-37 in a nutshell.

Goodnight, all. Peace be upon you.

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Day 30

Thirty days of blogging! Jacob stayed with Laban for one month… and then worked for the next fourteen years. Shall it be the same for me? We shall see.

There are a lot of things I want to talk about right now, but I’m going to just get on with today’s chapter.


Genesis 30

Here we have the soap opera that is Jacob’s life. Get ready for the Real Housewives of Haran.

Rachel wants children, and gets upset at Jacob for not giving her a child. This is a wonderful example of how we take out our anger, even on those we love, for no reason other than that we feel bad about something. Then Jacob gets mad at her and wonders why she doesn’t take it out on God for not giving her a fruitful womb.

Rachel “solves” this problem by giving her servant to Jacob for the purposes of bearing children. Sounds a little like Abraham and Sarah, no? So Jacob has two sons with his wife’s servant.

Leah, not to be outdone, does the same thing, and Jacob has two more sons by her servant.

Leah’s son Reuben at some point collects mandrakes from the fields. Rachel wants some of them, and agrees to whore out her husband for the mandrakes. Jacob doesn’t seem to mind, and he does his business with Leah. Long story short, he has two more sons with Leah, and a daughter.

I’m not going to count the size of Jacob’s family, here. This is getting ridiculous.

Oh! And let’s not forget Genesis 30:22. God remembers Rachel (finally!) and opens her womb that she might have a son of her own. (She does.)

So at this point, Jacob is ready to return home, but Laban implores him to stay, since the Lord seems to be blessing Laban for Jacob’s sake. Also, it sure helps to have free labor around his land, especially considering Jacob’s good business and farming sense.

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Pictured: Jacob and his friendly Harvest Sprites.¹

Jacob makes a convincing case that he is to head home, but Laban wants to know what he can give him. Jacob and Laban make an agreement that all the brown lambs or speckled goats will belong to Jacob, and all the others will belong to Laban. Laban takes all of these animals and sets them aside while Jacob tends to the rest of the flock. Now here’s where Jacob gets tricky, and uses his herding experience (and informal genetics knowledge) to his advantage.

“Now Jacob took for himself rods of green poplar and of the almond and chestnut trees, peeled white strips in them, and exposed the white which was in the rods. And the rods which he had peeled, he set before the flocks in the gutters, in the watering troughs where the flocks came to drink, so that they should conceive when they came to drink.”

It took me a while to understand what this meant, but “Farmer Tom” at his blog explains that Jacob must have started breeding them to find out which animals were carriers for the recessive colors. This would obviously take some time, but once he had the genetics down, he made sure to breed the animals so that the strongest ones would be colored or speckled and the feeble ones would be colored normally. Farmer Tom also suggests that the rods had some kind of phytoestrogen that would induce “heat” in the female animals; Jacob only put the rods in the water when he wanted his strong, speckled or brown animals. When Laban’s livestock went to drink, Jacob did not place the rods, and thus he increased his own herds and left fewer and weaker animals for Laban.

It seems like this is once again a deceitful practice on Jacob’s part (has he learned nothing?!) but regardless of all that, it is at least shrewd business sense. Jacob puts time and care into increasing his herds and his wealth, and Lord knows he needs it to support all those kids!

Jacob’s adventures will continue tomorrow. Good night, all. Peace be upon you.


¹ Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town. Natsume Co. & Marvelous Interactive. Image Credit: http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgr1xsTSAn1qb1zilo1_500.jpg

Day 29

I almost forgot to play catch-up today. I’m going to knock this one out. Here we go:


Genesis 29

Jacob makes his way to Haran and meets Rachel, a shepherdess, outside the city. After having spoken to the local shepherds, he knows her to be Laban’s daughter. He moves the stone from the nearby well, helps her get water for her flock, and then kisses her. Man, Jacob is a smooth operator.

Rachel goes and tells her father, who invites Jacob into the house. Jacob stays with Laban for a month before Laban finally asks how he should pay Jacob for his service. Jacob wants to take Rachel as his wife, and in an absolutely terrible display of negotiating skills, volunteers to work seven years in order to wed Rachel.

Two verses later, Jacob’s labors are completed, and in a shocking display of audacity that I hope was somehow phrased more delicately in the original Hebrew, Jacob asks that he may have Rachel as his wife so that he “may go in to her” (Genesis 29:21). And he says this to her dad.

Maybe this was some kind of consummation thing? Because Laban tricks Jacob, and gives him Leah to sleep with instead. Jacob doesn’t realize this until the morning and he is understandably upset. Laban explains that it is not customary to give away the younger daughter before the older, and so Jacob has to deal with both. Since Laban couldn’t marry off Leah in seven years, Jacob gets a package deal. Although, it’s not really a deal, since things work out weird, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Laban tells Jacob to “[fulfill] her week,” and then he would be allowed to also take Rachel as his wife. This confused me a bit, but I looked up Adam Clarke’s commentary on the matter, and he explains that this is a reference to a “bridal week” which consists of long celebrations following a marriage.¹ In other words, once all the guests leave and this deception is finished, you can also have Rachel. But… you have to work seven more years afterwards!

“What a man soweth, that shall he reap. Jacob had before practiced deceit, and is now deceived.”

— Adam Clarke, Commentary on the Bible

Jacob works a total of fourteen years for his two wives, one of whom he never asked for, and Leah bore him four children at some point, while Rachel, whom he loved most dearly, bore him none. Matthew Henry’s commentary does not say much about this point except to dissect the names of Leah’s sons.

The most obvious information I gleaned from this chapter is in regards to Jacob’s labor. He works for such a long time to realize his dream, to manifest his life with Rachel. Sometimes, this is what we must do. Ask and ye shall receive, but remember that God works within the language of the world… asking God with words is only so helpful. God gave us bodies and minds that we may “ask” with those; our actions are like words, but much, much louder. Jacob does not pray for a “miracle,” but one can imagine him praying for strength and willpower that he may complete his task. I wonder if the reversal of roles was lost on him or not; perhaps he prayed for forgiveness now that he knows the feeling of being deceived.

Either way, I have a feeling we will revisit Jacob and his business tomorrow. I’m going to stay up and watch the eclipse.

Farewell, all. Peace be upon you.


¹ Clarke, Adam. http://biblehub.com/commentaries/genesis/29-27.htm